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Skeptical Epicurean Pragmatist

Jul. 24th, 2017 11:05 pm Thought it was Gone

Uh...so...I am confused...a couple of years ago I received an email stating my Live Journal account had been suspended due to inactivity. I even emailed back and forth with them in an attempt to at least get copies of my entries. I was told they were gone since the account was suspended.

 But...a couple days ago I received an email telling me someone had commented on one of my entries. (Nothing special, spam, in Russian.) Being rather shocked of course I followed the link...and wound up on one of my LJ entries!

So I investigated a bit further and it appears that my LJ account was magically resurrected from oblivion. Now, I am making an entry just to see if that is true. You see, I thought LJ had gone the was of so many early internet sites. Did it?

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Nov. 6th, 2012 12:06 am

I haven't been here in a long time. Finally checked back in.

My mom just passed away on Oct. 27, 2012. Cancer. A very short fight. She was fine in May. Anyway, it got my sister and I talking a little. I don't know that it will last. My brother is pretty much out of the picture. Don't know why. He just wrote off the family including his best friend from grade school on several yeares back. He did come around for mom's last few days but he's gone again. The only thing mom wanted was for the three of us to stick together.

I'm sure you all aren't interested in my sob story. I guess I'm just trying to write a little in an effort to deal with the loss.

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Feb. 22nd, 2008 04:20 pm Update?

Thanks to an anonymous someone I see that I haven't posted here for a while.

I guess there really hasn't been anything post-worthy in my mind. Pretty much been the same ol' same ol'. I know I really need to make more of an effort to put something here regularly. I'm not sure why, I am probably my only reader! LOL Ok, ok, except for a particular niece. ;o) My life is pretty boring overall. Working second shift can be that way. You have no social life other than the computer.

I will say that I have met some very cool people from all around the world, though. I am amazed at the fact that nearly every person on the internet has some command of the English language. It makes me feel like a Dumb American! LOL I know a couple words of Spanish and French, but that's it! I could no more carry on a conversation in either language than I could sprout wings and fly.

It's pretty embarrassing. Especially considering I had 6 years of French in grade school and 2 years of Spanish in Junior High! I don't know, maybe if I was plunged into one or the other culture some rusty wheels would creak to life and begin turning; helping me acclimatize quickly.

What's even worse is half the time I have to look up the person's location! One woman I talk to is in Singapore. Do YOU know what country it's in? I didn't. I assumed China or Thailand but, no, it's in Malaysia. It really makes me aware of and more cautious in my conversations. I sure don't want to be the reason someone from another culture thinks the US population is self-centered/disrespectful/uninformed/illiterate/uncaring/etc. take your pick.

Ok, well, that's a bit more than I thought I could come up with. Go me. Maybe this isn't so tough.

On a different note:

My previous EE Story was effort enough to receive my participation coin for Book 2 of Eldritch Errors. Said coin has not yet arrived. We are in the midst of Book 3 and had to stand by on the ritual day (Feb. 20th, lunar eclipse) and hope to hell nothing bad happened. We are still waiting to hear what went down. Here's a link if you are interested:


We can use all the help we can get to figure out what is going on.

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Dec. 21st, 2007 01:09 am EE Story

 She stepped out into the night and her nostrils were assailed by the odor of green. The green of lawn clippings, bruised and bleeding, piled into a sodden heap. The green of vines and tendrils and moss with rain falling down in sheets and cascades grasping wetly. Cloying, nauseating, thick and heavy green. She gagged as it seeped into her mouth and throat and nose trying desperately not to cough as it invaded her lungs. Suffocating, she had to run, to move to find a place safe from the nightmare. Safe from the darkness.

She stumbled through the green miasma. Struggling for air, just a gasp, something fresh. The thick heavy air settled on her like a blanket. Weighing on her chest. The drawing of a simple breath was an effort. She continued moving through surroundings, swampy and slogging.

Feeling the solid form of a tree beneath her hand she collapsed against it, holding on. The drawing in of air became a very slight bit easier. Her forehead ground against the rough damp bark. A drop of moisture hit the back of her neck. Warm, oozing slowly down to her shirt only to be rejected by the material which held too much moisture already. Sweat and damply soaking humidity combined to plaster the clothing to her body.

She became aware of her heartbeat
thub-DUB thub-DUB thub-DUB
thub-DUB thub-DUB thub-DUB

Her breathing slowed in time
inhale thub-DUB thub-DUB thub-DUB
exhale thub-DUB thub-DUB thub-DUB

Another drop fell from the wet crown of leaves
inhale thub-DUB spat thub-DUB thub-DUB
exhale thub-DUB thub-DUB thub-DUB

Her mind began struggling.  When had it happened? she thought.
inhale thub-DUB spat thub-DUB thub-DUB
exhale thub-DUB thub-DUB thub-DUB

The chaos the shrieking the flames and howling.
inhale thub-DUB spat thub-DUB thub-DUB
exhale thub-DUB thub-DUB thub-DUB

What did I do? she begged of the universe at large.
inhale thub-DUB spat thub-DUB spat thub-DUB
exhale thub-DUB thub-DUB thub-DUB

Knowing she had lost...what?  What was it she sought?
inhale thub-DUB  spat thub-DUB thub-DUB
exhale thub-DUB thub-DUB tic thub-DUB

The hoplessness and helplessness and the blood!  Oh god the BLOOD!
inhale thub-DUB spat thub-DUB tic thub-DUB
exhale thub-DUB thub-DUB tic thub-DUB

Everyone looking to her for reasons.  For explanations.  For salvation.
inhale thub-DUB spat thub-DUB tic thub-DUB
exhale thub-DUB tic thub-DUB thub-DUB tic

Her tears flowed faster.
inhale thub-DUB spat thub-DUB tic thub-DUB tic
exhale thub-DUB tic thub-DUB tic thub-DUB

How was she supposed to help when she didn't know herself what was happening.
inhale thub-DUB spat tic thub-DUB tic thub-DUB
exhale thub-DUB tic thub-DUB tic spat thub-DUB

Her shoulders tensed with the effort not to cry out loud.
inhale tic thub-DUB spat tic thub-DUB tic thub-DUB pum
exhale thub-DUB tic thub-DUB pum thub-DUB

LISTEN!! her mind screamed silently.
inhale tic thub-DUB spat  tic thub-DUB tic thub-DUB tic pum
exhale tic thub-DUB pum thub-DUB tic thub-DUB

Suddenly she became aware of the new rythm.
inhale thub-DUB pum spat thub-DUB tic thub-DUB pum
exhale thub-DUB tic thub-DUB pum thub-DUB tic
inhale thub-DUB pum spat thub-DUB tic thub-DUB pum
exhale thub-DUB tic thub-DUB pum thub-DUB tic

"Noooooo" she softly whined her eyes opening wide.
inhale thub-DUB pum spat thub-DUB tic exhale thub-DUB pum
sh ka sh ka sh ka sh ka sh ka sh ka 
thub-DUB tic inhale thub-DUB pum thub-DUB tic
sh ka sh ka sh ka sh ka sh ka sh ka 

Not the drums!  No!  Please not the drums!!
exhale thub-DUB pum spat thub-DUB tic inhale thub-DUB pum
sh ka sh ka sh ka sh ka sh ka sh ka 
exhale thub-DUB tic thub-DUB pum inhale thub-DUB tic
sh ka sh ka sh ka sh ka sh ka sh ka 

Sobbing she begged "no no no please." It was just as in her dreams.
exhale thub-DUB pum spat inhale thub-DUB tic exhale thub-DUB pum
sh ka sh ka sh ka sh ka sh ka sh ka 
inhale thub-DUB tic exhale thub-DUB pum inhale thub-DUB tic
sh ka sh ka sh ka sh ka sh ka sh ka 


She collapsed on the ground shoulders heaving sobs choking her throat. The chanting.  Just like in her dreams.  The incessant chanting.
pant thub-DUB pum gasp spat thub-DUB tic pant thub-DUB pum
sh ka sh ka sh ka sh ka sh ka sh ka 
booma booma booma booma
gulp thub-DUB tic pant thub-DUB pum gulp thub-DUB tic
sh ka sh ka sh ka sh ka sh ka sh ka 
booma booma booma booma

Dreams invading waking life.  The pounding and chanting and rattling grew louder and louder until her world consisted only of sound.  She curled up as tight as she could trying to block the noise with her body.  The cacophony drowned out even the sound of her own cries, her own heartbeat.  There was nothing but the harsh, jarring roar.  Rumbling.  Shouting. Cackling. 



She lay still as the ringing in her head and ears quieted.  The feverishness of her recent dream still swirled throughout her body.  She was laying on a hard surface, twilit sky above her.  Cool.  Damp.  It felt good.  She tried to stretch out so more of her body could  contact with the soothing surface.  That's when she realized she was bound.

She struggled against the bindings.  They were tight.  She began to panic.  When had she been tied up??!!  Her mind treid to wade back through the last passage of time.  She remembered noise.  Noise and drumming.  Had she been hypnotized?

She raised her head to take in her surroundings.  She must have been drugged some how.  She was light headed and her neck muscles didn't seem to be responding properly.  Her head was well clear of the surface.  Almost upright.  But where her ear should be pressing against her shoulder there was nothing.

A soft chuckle floated to her from the direction in which her head had been laying.

"You awaken, my beauty."

A man's voice spoke quietly.  She turned her head to face her captor.  She couldn't seem to focus on him however.  She blinked, closed one eye and tried again.  She saw a seated figure wearing a hooded robe.

"He will be well pleased with you."

She opened her mouth to scream; "Let me go!"  But she only managed to make an unearthly, garbled squawking sound.  Terrified she fought her bindings furiously.

"It is time."

She felt herself lifted and held securely by another individual.  She felt an arm encircle her and hold her tightly.  She must be terribly weak; she seemd to be held in much the same way as a sack of potatoes.

The cloaked figure approached her.  She watched him withdraw a sharp, unusual looking knife from beneath his robe.  Again she tried to struggle and cry out but a hand grasped her neck and choked off any sound she might make.

The cloaked individual lay the knife on the stone table upon which she recently lay.  He leaned down.  When he stood upright he held a large, shiny tray of some type which he placed in the center of the stone alter.  The person holding her grasped her by her legs and extended his arms upward.  Her body swung around and again she tried to shake loose his grip.

 A low murmur began: "al-majaal yakshof lana al-majaal yakshof lana al-majaal ennahom ..."

Her reflection in the tray below moved in tandem.  She gazed down at the tray and froze; emittng a silent scream.  The image gazing back at her was that of a beautiful large, black swan.

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Nov. 5th, 2007 03:12 pm National Novel Writing Month

Well I signed up for this writing thing where you have to write a 50,000 word novel in the month of November. Got in on it a little late, but figure I'll give it a try. I have several writings in the works and have been neglecting them. I think, once I get the story in my head and figure out how it ends, I don't want to be bothered with writing it down. So, now I am going to wrack my brain to come up with a brand new idea.

The idea here is to just write. To get in the practice of writing something, anything, every day. I've never been good at journaling or anything like that. However, with the advent of computers and nifty sites like this one writing becomes less of a pain. Taking pen to actual paper and writing longhand is much more cumbersome than speed typing!

So I am off to just start typing. Hopefully, the act will result in something that goes somewhere. Wish me luck!

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Sep. 19th, 2007 10:04 pm Mystery Bible Theatre 3000

I am sure this is going to piss off some folks. That's not my intention, but there are those whose default setting is "everyone else is wrong and I am right."

This is part of the story of creation as told in the King James version of the bible. It sure doesn't make a lot of sense to me.

Oh, anything with >>>>> in front is my personal interjection.

Genesis 1

26 And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.

>>>>> Let US make man in OUR image? Just how many gods are there?

27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.

>>>>> God makes man AND woman.

28 And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.

29 And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat.

30 And to every beast of the earth, and to every fowl of the air, and to every thing that creepeth upon the earth, wherein there is life, I have given every green herb for meat: and it was so.

31 And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day.

Genesis 2

1 Thus the heavens and the earth were finished, and all the host of them.

2 And on the seventh day God ended his work which he had made; and he rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had made.

3 And God blessed the seventh day, and sanctified it: because that in it he had rested from all his work which God created and made.

>>>>> The work of creation is complete. God is finished. There is nothing more to make.

4 These are the generations of the heavens and of the earth when they were created, in the day that the LORD God made the earth and the heavens,

5 And every plant of the field before it was in the earth, and every herb of the field before it grew: for the LORD God had not caused it to rain upon the earth, and there was not a man to till the ground.

>>>>> Because god knows plants won't grow unless someone is there to pick 'em.

6 But there went up a mist from the earth, and watered the whole face of the ground.

7 And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.

>>>>> God makes man again? Then who did he make back in Gen. 1:27. Not to mention that just a couple verses up, Gen.2:3, creation is done. Why are we making another man?

8 And the LORD God planted a garden eastward in Eden; and there he put the man whom he had formed.

15 And the LORD God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it.

>>>>> Now god makes Eden and sticks the freshly made man in it. So Eden was not a part of the original creation.

16 And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat:

17 But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.

>>>>> Don't eat from this tree or you will die.

18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

19 And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.

20 And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.

>>>>> Because none of the animals will be of any use to Adam whatsoever.

21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;

22 And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.

>>>>> This time god is creating woman from man. This man and woman must be different than those god made back in Gen. 1:27.

23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.

24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

>>>>> After all, Adam is a horny guy!

25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

>>>>> Of course they weren't ashamed. No one told them they SHOULD be ashamed.

Genesis 3

1 Now the serpent was more subtile than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden?

2 And the woman said unto the serpent, We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden:

3 But of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die.

4 And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die:

>>>>> Uh oh, the serpent is calling god a liar!

5 For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil.

>>>>> That must be some pretty powerful fruit. What would you do? Eat the fruit and become like god? Or ignore the fruit preferring to remain ignorant of what separates good from evil?

6 And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.

7 And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons.

>>>>> Someone here has made several assumptions:
a. They knew what "naked" was.
b. They somehow determined it was wrong to be naked.
c. They automatically wanted to cover themselves.
d. And, for some inexplicable reason, they chose to cover their genitals?

8 And they heard the voice of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day: and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God amongst the trees of the garden.

>>>>> Wait, wait, wait, wait...when was the wedding? I didn't hear either of them say "I do." Did you?

9 And the LORD God called unto Adam, and said unto him, Where art thou?

10 And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself.

11 And he said, Who told thee that thou wast naked? Hast thou eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldest not eat?

>>>>> God knew Adam and Eve would know what "being naked" was when they ate the fruit. So being naked (or not) is the defining line between good and evil?!

12 And the man said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat.

>>>>> Yeah, pass the buck.

13 And the LORD God said unto the woman, What is this that thou hast done? And the woman said, The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat.

>>>>> Yeah, pass the buck again.

14 And the LORD God said unto the serpent, Because thou hast done this, thou art cursed above all cattle, and above every beast of the field; upon thy belly shalt thou go, and dust shalt thou eat all the days of thy life:

>>>>> What did the serpent do besides call god a liar??

15 And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel.

>>>>> Someone is really mixed up about where sperm and ova live.

16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

>>>>> Yes, every woman hates sex and is very sad when she has a baby.

17 And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life;

>>>>> God is sounding awfully whiny here.

18 Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field;

19 In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.

20 And Adam called his wife's name Eve; because she was the mother of all living.

21 Unto Adam also and to his wife did the LORD God make coats of skins, and clothed them.

>>>>> So now god decides to kill some of his perfect creations - note, creations which did NOT disobey him - and turn them into clothing? Again, it looks like being naked is the dividing line between good and evil.

>>>>> Before continuing, I would like to remind us of what we read earlier:
Gen. 2:17 - on the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.
Gen. 3: 4-5 - And the serpent said unto the woman, ye shall not surely die ... ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil.

>>>>> We know that god and the serpent are in direct opposition to each other. Either the man and woman will die according to god, or the man and women will not die according to the serpent. One of the two is lying. Which one?

22 And the LORD God said, Behold, the man is become as one of us, to know good and evil: and now, lest he put forth his hand, and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live for ever:

>>>>> Wait. What now? God is saying that man and woman have become like gods too? But, didn't he tell them they would die if they ate the fruit? So god is admitting he lied to them? Which means the serpent was telling the truth!!!

23 Therefore the LORD God sent him forth from the garden of Eden, to till the ground from whence he was taken.

24 So he drove out the man; and he placed at the east of the garden of Eden Cherubims, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to keep the way of the tree of life.

>>>>> As if that's not enough, now god decides to kick them out of the garden in case they eat from another tree and become immortal, too! Sheesh, we can't have more gods running around!

Oh yeah, Adam did eventually die. 800 years after the birth of his third child, Seth, who was born when Adam was 130 years old. (Gen. 5:3-4)

See what I mean?

Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative

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Sep. 12th, 2007 10:20 pm Just writing

I came across this little item buried deep on my hard drive. I wrote it a few years ago. Maybe I will re-visit it...


She stepped out into the night and her nostrils were assailed by the odor of green. The green of lawn clippings, bruised and bleeding, piled into a sodden heap. The green of vines and tendrils and moss with rain falling down in sheets and cascades grasping wetly. Cloying, nauseating, thick and heavy green. She gagged as it seeped into her mouth and throat and nose trying desperately not to cough as it invaded her asthmatic lungs. Suffocating, she had to run, to move to find a place safe from the nightmare her life had become. A place the monster could not reach.

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Sep. 7th, 2007 02:11 pm Break in the weather

We finally got a break in the weather this week! It's been sunny, hot, and humid forever it seems (as is usually the case with summers in St. Louis). We have a cold front now - temperatures are only going up into the upper eighties!

Still been listening to Joan Jett, but recently dug out some Billie Meyers ("Kiss the Rain," "Tell Me") and Sophie B. Hawkins ("Damn I wish I was Your Lover").

I have also been looking around on You Tube and Diva, checking out some L7 and Corrs stuff.

Found several clips of Heart unplugged on YouTube. Anne Wilson's voice is awesome. A long time ago I heard she had a 6 or 7 octave range and I believe it. I've seen them in concert 2 or 3 times.

Was surprised to see that Vixen is still going strong. They even have a new cd out!! I saw them way back in the mid-late 70s at a custom car and auto show. They had to have just been starting out and playing whatever gigs they could. I didn't re-discover them until "Edge of a Broken Heart" became a hit.

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Aug. 21st, 2007 08:57 pm

The last few days I've been getting back into my music. Listening to Joan Jett mostly. She is so fucking awesome. Been zoning out to the Fetish CD. Some have argued it is not her best work, but there are few CD's that are so blatantly sexual.

Up Your Alley comes close - been switching that one off with Fetish. I just turn off the lights, put my headphones on, and enjoy the ride!

I've loved her since The Runaways. She played our PRIDEfest a couple years ago. I think that was the 4th time I'd seen her in concert. The only other band I saw live that often is Heart.

Heart, Vixen, Lita Ford, Suzi Quatro; those old school rock girls really knew how to do it!

Current Mood: enthralled

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Jul. 25th, 2007 04:43 pm Gaming Update

Woh! WWO zipped by so quickly I didn't take part much.

S'ok, though, I'm still following a couple ARGs: Deus City and Eldritch Errors. Also waiting for tLemporary to get back up and running and lurking on The Genesis Code.

August 3d! The Fallen miniseries begins! Hopefully this means The Ocular Effect will start up again!!!! Everyone cross your fingers, chant your mantras, and/or say your prayers that this is so! I at LEAST want to know what happened to Faith!!!!!!!!!

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